Sunday, September 20, 2009

Week 2's 11 Things I Think I Think

1: I think the Green Bay Packers are in trouble. Their offensive line has more leaks than the guys in the Flomax commercials. Aaron Rodgers can’t get set in the pocket and they can’t open up the running game. Problem is, how do you fix an offensive line two weeks into the season? You can’t bring in new guys, they’d take weeks to learn schemes, play calls, etc. They’re stuck with what they have. And I’m legitimately worried for Rodgers’ health when they take on Jared Allen and the Vikings this season.

2: Speaking of Green Bay, I think Dom Capers and the rest of the Packers’ defensive coaches need to be told there’s such a thing as the screen pass, and they might want to come up with ways of defending it. All Carson Palmer had to do was find his receivers in the flat and it was an automatic first down.

Oh, and there’s a thing called a running game. Try to stop it. Cedric Benson should not be carving you up like that.

3: I think I couldn’t possibly be more bitter about the Packers. This is the easy part of their schedule. It only gets worse from here.

4: Speaking of crappy running games, Steve Slaton ladies and gentlemen! I think that’s two straight stinkbombs for my #1 back. If it weren’t for Drew Brees and Tony Gonzalez, I might not score any fantasy points. Picking last in a 14-team league sucks.

5: I think I’m wondering what will get the lower television ratings- the Oakland-Kansas City game, or Monday’s premiere of Accidentally on Purpose? Actually, what am I talking about, terrible CBS comedies always seem to find their audience- Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement, New Adventures of Old Christine. Thank God for How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory.

6: I think I hate to admit that the Peyton Manning-Justin Timberlake commercials crack me up. I think I also hate to admit that Justin Timberlake is consistently funny when he’s on SNL. But he still sucks.

7: I think Chris Johnson is Tennessee’s best receiver.

8: I think Chris might be right about JaMarcus Russell being the worst number overall pick of all-time. Even Kwame Brown is embarrassed for him.

9: I think I wonder if the NFL Network’s Red Zone Channel anchor has a bucket under his desk he just pees into. I mean, the guy has to sit there all day since the red zone opportunities never end. How does he do it? Does he not consume any liquids for 12 hours? I probably peed 13 times in the morning games alone.

10: I think I’m incredulous that my fantasy opponent got late touchdowns from both Reggie Bush and Darren McFadden. I was really, really lucky to win this week. But hey, 2-0!

11: I think I won’t be doing 11 Things I Think I Think next week because of work commitments. Be strong.

1 comment:

Rocking the Suburbs said...

"I think I couldn’t possibly be more bitter about the Packers. This is the easy part of their schedule. It only gets worse from here."

The Pack get the Rams next week. Calm down.