Every so often I check the Commercial Appeal to see what Geoff Calkins has come up with, and today I found an article on Henry Bibby inventing a ball to help with dribbling, with a link to the crappy commercial:
Here's what I love about the ad:
-Jim Hill, "Professional Sportscaster". Wow, he got THE Jim Hill? What a coup!
-Jim Hill's tie is crooked.
-The "interview" cracks me up. Why do they even need an interview? Why do they even need Professional Sportscaster Jim Hill? Can't Henry Bibby just look at the camera and give his pitch?
-Bibby: "I re-engineered the surface of the basketball."
No you didn't. You glued some studs on it.
-A celebrity endorsement from Professional Basketball Player Miles Simon! Yes, THE Miles Simon. Jim Hill and Miles Simon in the same infomercial, this product can't fail! How quickly did Miles Simon say yes when asked to do this? And did he make enough money from it that he can afford to get an apartment and stop living out of his car?
-The kid who says, "This s the best thing my parents ever game me!" Better than love, kid?
-Another celebrity endorsement, this one from Lou Amundson! The A-listers keep coming out for this!
-In the "other pros who recommend Dribble Pro, Darrell Arthur's name is misspelled and mispronounced. Come on, Professional Sportscaster Jim Hill, do your preparation!
-OK, here's the part that almost had me in tears. As they're reeling off the names of the other pros who recommend DribblePro, Darrell, DeMarre Carroll, Jason Hart and Lou Amundson are all listed ahead of Rudy Gay and Mike Conley, who then don't even get named by Professional Sportscaster Jim Hill, they just get a "and many more". I wonder if Mike Conley threw his DribblePro through the TV when he saw that.
-Look, it's Jason Hart with an endorsement!
-The before and after clips of the guy bumbling with the ball. Yeah, I'm buying that whole scenario.
And a retort from Chris.
First off, did Henry Bibby really sit around and come up with the Dribble Pro, or did some yokel in his garage conceive it and then try to get an investor to sign off on it? I'm leaning towards the latter. And once he finally got an investor, did they figure out a budget for the pitchman and determine they could get Henry Bibby, Jim Hill and Miles Simon for 1/10 of the cost of Chris Paul? I need to know these things. Where is the lost footage of the initial Dribble Pro braintrust getting together?
I also noticed that Darrell Arthur's name was spelled wrong and mispronounced. I'm not sure if this is an indictment against them or us.
Did you notice that the majority of the basketball players were not only obscure, but aren't ballhandlers? You mean if I get this basketball, I'll be able to dribble like Lou Edmondson? Why didn't you say so! If only they came out with a basketball that made me shoot free throws like Dwight Howard or shoot three-pointers like Antoine Walker!
Lastly, how sad did Rudy Gay and Mike Conley feel for Henry Bibby when he asked if they'd endorse this basketball? Was Bibby quietly sobbing over dinner talking about how he'd be swindled by some Dribble Pro scam artists and just need a few Memphis Grizzlies players to bail him out? Was Rudy Gay offended that DeMarre Carroll was involved in the meeting, or did Bibby have to fly out to Dakota with Carroll in the D-league to get his endorsement?