Thursday, January 7, 2010
Mop buckets and Aasman (aka another email thread)
I guess our culture has shifted to the point that not only do people have short attention spans concerning what they read, watch, etc., but also what they write. I can’t write long blog posts to save my life, yet I can send pointless emails and tweet meaningless drivel on a constant basis. I’ll blame this on culture and not the effects of years of beer and football upon my brain. Regardless, we here at RTS want to give the masses (our families) something to read. Why not an email thread?
I just passed the janitor here at the building and saw the standard yellow mop bucket. It said on it, "property of xx company." Do we have a problem with people stealing our mop bucket? Or did we perhaps take it somewhere and wanted to make sure everyone knew it was ours? Where would one take a mop bucket? Don't answer that, actually. Lastly, can you think of something of less value that you would write "property of xx" on? A set of worn out shoe laces? A used loofa at a retirement home?
Here's my question: how was it decided all mop buckets are yellow? As for anything of less value with a "property of xx" written on it, I have one: a Hasheem Thabeet rookie card.
I guess mop buckets are yellow so that they are easily seen, or because yellow is a warning color. Trust me, you don't want to accidentally run into a gray mop bucket. You're just picking on my boy Hasheem cause he's undefeated at FedExForum West, er, I mean, the Rose Garden.
Did you see this story? Now, I'd kicked back a few too many margaritas and tacos in my day, hell, who hasn't, but how do you get to the point that you pass out in a restaurant in public? Is that better or worse than drinking too much and peeing yourself on a friend's couch, not that I've done that.
I've never fallen asleep in a restaurant, but mostly because the music is always so loud now. It's ridiculous. This e-mail sponsored by AARP.
Speaking of dinner/AARP, I ate dinner at 4:45 yesterday. Top that.
Please. Our Sunday game start at 5 p.m., so I'm chowing down at 4. Then again at 9. (Post email note by Chris: when Graham said “our game,” he meant the Green Bay Packers. I have no clue when he was added to the roster, but I’m impressed.)
By the way, we never discussed NFL pick'em. Not only did I destroy you, 145-123, but I finished in the top 99.8 percentile. I know that's not terribly impressive when half of the people quit by the middle of the season, but I finished ranked #338 out of every ESPN.com spread participant. At one point I was ranked number 240, which means I actually dropped down to #338. This is probably the most impressive thing I've ever done. I'm not joking. I think I'm going to print my ranking out and frame it. Hell, I'm doing that this afternoon.
More impressive than finding a woman that wanted to marry you? Let's not kid ourselves- neither you or I will ever top that.
By the way, so two teams in our league swung a trade today. One of the players involved? Ryan Aasman. That's just funny.
Maybe he has "assman" as a vanity plate.
The Green Bay Press-Gazette does a pretty good job covering the Packers. One thing they don't do well? Photographing their reporters. Check out the picture of the Packers reporting team on the right of this link.
Are they supposed to look tough? If so, the khaki shorts aren't helping. And why do I care if a beat writer is tough? Did they tell the reporters in advance this photo shoot was happening? Does the one guy wear sandals to work every day? How uncomfortable is the Keith Olbermann lookalike? Seriously, I could go on forever about that picture.
Not only is the one guy wearing sandals, but they look like those outdated '90s ones. Is he about to go to a beach volleyball game? Maybe they look tough cause they provide hard-hitting Packers news. Why are 3 of them wearing khaki shorts? Is that the August dress code in Green Bay, the one month they can wear shorts? Were all of their jean shorts in the washer? Why is the one old dude in pants? Did he not get them memo? Are they freezing him out?
Also, why does weather.com think the below advertisement would interest/apply to me?
I didn’t get a response from Graham on the last one. I guess it’s one of life’s great mysteries.