Normally I wouldn’t even admit that I’ve visited the Lifetime Movie Network website, but alas, I had to today as part of my job function (don’t even ask).
Regardless, I thought everyone should take a look and see some of the wonderful things going on at www.lmn.tv.
My favorite part of the entire site is the poll on the left hand side of the page. It poses the question, “What is your favorite kind of movie ending?” The choices are:
A happy ending
A shocking twist
A tragic end
First off, couldn’t some of these things be similar? For instance, the ending of Forrest Gump could classify as a happy ending (Forest and his son), something realistic (a, um, well-traveled woman contracts Aids) and a tragic end (she dies). So how could I even vote on this poll if I even wanted to? Second, how many women are going to choose a tragic end? How many movies aimed at women end this way? .02%? I’m going to wager that a tragic end has less than 1% of the vote. Here I go….suspense building…drama ensuing…4%. A tragic ending got 4%! I’m guessing that the only tragic end in a Lifetime movie involves a store being out of chocolate when Aunt Flo is in town.
Also on the website are some previews of upcoming programming. How much money would it take for you to watch, What Color is Love - An interracial love affair turns into a messy custody battle over a mixed-race child. Starring Roger Cross, Jennifer Finnegan and Doug Savant. I’d rather watch a montage of the Memphis Grizzlies fourth quarters over the past three seasons than watch this. That’s saying something.
I think I’d prefer to watch True Story Thursdays - Every Thursday in the month of September, watch movies of murder, mayhem, triumph and defeat - based on real-life stories! It’s always so much better when I watch murder stories that are based on real-life! It’s so uplifting! I’m one of the 4% that loves a tragic end!
This is only a brief snippet of the excitement at the Lifetime Movie Network website. I could visit the Fan Club link and “Talk about all of your Lifetime faves with other movie lovers.” Or I could try the Lifetime Movie Mash-up where I could “create your own Lifetime movies! Pick scenes from your favorite Lifetime movies, starring all of your favorite stars! Create mash-ups, watch your friends' movies or watch full-length movies online.”
Can someone please tell me who my choices are from the list of stars of Lifetime movies? You mean I can make my own movie mash up with the clichéd abused wife and her new lover played by Eric Roberts? Really, I can do this? Sign me up!
Yeah, it’s another exciting day here at RTS. Next week I’m going to try to do a running diary of an Oprah episode with a knife in my other hand. I wonder how that will end.