Real Men of Genius

I’ve got a person to nominate for the Bud Light Real Men of Genius.

Here’s to you Coach Calling Timeouts When Your Team is Down Three Touchdowns Late In the 4th Quarter. Most coaches would just throw in the towel, admitting your team stinks and it’s time to hit the showers. But not you Coach, you’re in this for the long haul. It doesn’t matter that your team had gotten the shit kicked out them for last three hours. It’s time to make these last two minutes count.

Specifically, this goes to St. Louis Rams head coach Jim Haslett for almost giving me an aneurism yesterday afternoon. For the 2nd straight week, my fantasy football team was in a nail-biting affair. I was winning by 3 points and my opponent only had Donnie Avery of St. Louis left. The Rams throw a touchdown with 1:56 left in the game to make the score 35-16. You’d think that Haslett would simply kick off, let the 49ers run out the clock and everyone goes home.

Not good ole’ Jim, he uses all three of his timeouts just so his team can get the ball back with 1:38 left. What’s the f’ing point Jim? Do you have a secret 20-point passing play that will win you the game? For the next 1:38 I have to pray to the fantasy football gods that Donnie Avery doesn’t have 1 catch for 7 yards or else I’m toast. It was unbearable. Then, when Avery catches the ball 30 seconds left I know I’m screwed if not for some random 49er tackling him for no gain. I won my game by 3 points, no thanks to Jim.

Then again, my fantasy football team has been suffering ever since Steven Jackson was injured in the 4th quarter of a blowout win over Dallas because Haslett was too stupid to take out his star player to avoid him getting injured. My only theory is that Haslett doesn’t know how to read a scoreboard. To think he knows the score and does these moronic things is too much for me to handle.

Also, as a side note, congrats to Graham for losing his fantasy basketball matchup last week. Sorry I had to take your team down. I was cheering for John Salmons to save the day.