ESPN Has Ruined Monday Night Football

I was forced to watch the 2nd half of the Broncos/Patriots game last night because I had 2 Denver players on my fantasy team and needed a high scoring 2nd half. Cheering for the Broncos offense against the Pats D was like cheering for Alex Kitner vs. Jaws. It was brutal.

The only thing more brutal was ESPN’s production of the game. ESPN continues to make Monday Night Football the least enjoyable football game of the week, regardless of the matchup. I’ll go ahead and give you a recap of last night’s 4th quarter since I was the only person in America watching the game after the score hit 34-0.

Tony Kornheiser: The Patriots are actually winning a game without Tom Brady. Did you know that Tom Brady was injured in the 1st game of the season? I don’t know how you couldn’t know this fact as it occurred 7 weeks ago and I’ve already mentioned it about 85 times tonight. I’m still amazed that the Patriots are winning this football game without Tom. I know, they’ve won 3 games without him already, but I still have to act completely shocked for some unknown reason.

Ron Jaworski: I used to play quarterback in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE for the Philadelphia Eagles.

Mike Tirico: Is it time for me to provide a random football fact to prove that I can dominate 98% of the country in sports trivia? Oh wait, New England just scored again.

37th Commercial Break.

New England kicks off, which takes about 12 seconds.

38th Commercial Break.

Stuart Scott: Coming up after the game our NFL experts are gonna get serious with the breakdown of the Pats beat down, even though there doesn’t need to be a 45 minute breakdown of a 4-hour football blowout. You just watched the Patriots handle the Broncos and the only analysis that needs to be said is, “New England Kicked Ass,” but we have to overanalyze and saturate the entire football experience for you because that’s what ESPN does. Back to you Mike.

Seriously, this occurred for the entire 4th quarter. I was in football purgatory. Oh yeah, and my fantasy football team didn’t even have a chance at this point. I’m just a glutton for punishment.

Chris