Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Rant

I wouldn’t say that RTS is back, but we’re on the right track. What better way to bring 30-something white men together than to complain about inane things that matter not? (PS: I’m 29, but it’s easier just to round up).

I was watching Wayne’s World last night on Fuse and there was a commercial for Fuse music programming. The ad said something along the lines of, “Check out Fuse’s new music experience every Friday at midnight, featuring music videos, news and tour information for hot bands such as Paramore and Cold War Kids and classics like Nirvana and Pearl Jam.” Now this is a show I have to watch. They’re going to give me news and tour information about Nirvana? Holy hell.

I watched the most recent The Office this morning from my DVR. There was a special mayor election in Memphis Thursday night when the recording took place. During the entire episode of The Office I had to watch half of the TV devoted to updated results. First, the guy that won was winning in a landslide. Do I really need a scrolling update to see that someone went from being up 50,000 votes to being up 55,000 votes over a 30 minute span? Also, do I really need to see EVERY candidate’s result. Thanks for telling me that Joe Crazy currently has 13 votes. I really need this update. And while we’re here, I think I could get at least 100 votes for mayor. Who in the hell are these people running and getting 13 votes? Lastly, why does local news impose itself? I should start a morning news update podcast or weblog and here’s how it would go: Murder, Car Jacking, Corrupt Local Government, Memphis Tigers, Memphis Grizzlies, School Violence, Weather.Done.

Pictures like this make me feel better about my high school experience.

I was watching college football today and ABC was counting down the top 30 plays of the last 30 years. #21 was the infamous Colorado 5th down play against Missouri to win the game. Really, an official’s error that cost a team a chance at a national upset is what you would consider one of the best plays of the last 30 years? I would say that’s one of the worst 30 plays. And while we’re here, how did AP voters continue to vote for Colorado as a top team when they had to have 5 downs to win a game? Couldn’t you just rank them as the 10th best team for the rest of the year to balance that out? And yes, I’m ranting about something that happened almost 20 years ago.

What is up with ad men these days? First, Keystone Light is advertising that their beer is “smooth.” Is this really the road you want to go down Keystone, talking about how smooth your beer is? Why don’t you just say, “Hell, it’s cheap and it’ll get you drunk.” And Macy’s was adverting about their low everyday prices and then showed some crappy sweater for $40. Yes, I’m ranting about cheap beer and Macy’s at the same time. Both companies should be ashamed.

And this is why Graham and I blog together. While I was compiling my rant about lame advertisements, Graham emailed me this gem.

So Portland has been granted an MLS expansion team for the 2011 season, pending a new stadium. Anyway, last week they unveiled a new marketing campaign that reads like this: "Barcelona, Milan, Liverpool, Madrid, Portland. We're finally on the world's pitch".Are you fing kidding me? I'm sorry, did the MLS suddenly merge with the European premier leagues? I know I don't follow soccer, but that seems like the kind of thing I would have heard about. Seriously, that ad is just infuriating. If there were any truth to it, it would read:"Columbus. Kansas City. Salt Lake City. Portland. We're finally among the mid-level cities trying hard to be major league." And you know what else I hate about soccer? When North America tries to import European teams. Don't call it a pitch, it's an f-ing field. Stop it, MLS. Just stop it.

Chris and Graham

No comments: