Intern Havoc

So I came across this website doing research for my job and couldn't help but chuckle. It looks like a legit site, with a few links in there that can't help but make me laugh. Here's the site: http://www.spiritoflasalle.com/

Graham's response when I sent it to him, "That's awesome. Some intern decided to have fun on their last day and none of the old people know how to work the internet to fix it."

Well played intern.

On LeBron, Race and Celebrity

I know, I know, I’m white, so I’m not supposed to talk about race. I’m not supposed to chime in on the LeBron James’ race factor question. But it’s been irking me, so I’m going to wade into the waters and hope to go I don’t come out sounding like a racist. Isn’t that why most white people avoid talking about race? We’re scared that our opinion on the subject might be deemed racist when we disagree? Screw it. I’m taking my blog post to South Beach.

First off, before I skewer LeBron, I want to thank the interviewer, Soledad O'Brien, for the dumbest question possible.

It was, quite simply, “Do you think there's a role that race plays in this?”

This is quite possibly the easiest alley-opp that LeBron’s been thrown. It was a perfect toss, right above the rim and to the right, just hanging there, waiting for him to rise up and throw it down. And instead of LeBron attacking this lob and throwing it down violently, shaking the rim so badly that we thought the goal might break, he simply tipped it in. Was race a factor, he was asked?

LeBron replies, “It's always, you know, a race factor.”

This is a dumb question and a dumb answer. And it doesn’t warrant the attention it’s been getting (yes, I realize the irony in bemoaning the attention while giving it attention).

Growing up in a America, the great melting pot, means that race, religion, sex, appearance, all that stuff, is a factor. In pretty much any situation, if you are minority, the reason you are a minority is going to be a factor in your life. I’m sure women will tell you that sex is a factor. I’m sure that Muslims will tell you that religion is factor. For black athletes, I’m sure they’ll tell you race is a factor, whether big or small, pretty much every day. So it’s a dumb question. The answer to the “is race a factor” is going to be yes 100% of the time.

So can I fault LeBron for what I said? Of course I can!

LeBron answered that race was a factor for the criticism he’s received. The implication of this is that he was criticized for “The Decision” and his offseason because he was black, not because he did it the wrong way. That’s what really irks me.

His entire summer was an exercise in inflating his already enormous ego. He samples all the free agent destinations, making each team gravel for his “talents” even though there’s not a chance in hell he’s going to Clipperland, the Knicks or any other sub-par team. He’s making everyone beg for him even though they don’t stand a chance. You want to move on from Cleveland, fine, so be it, but quit with the charade already. That’s how I felt back in June and it wasn’t because you’re black LeBron, it’s because you’re the King, although you don’t have your crown.

And that’s the real heart of the issue here LeBron. It’s not race. I’m not piling on you cause you’re black. I’m not a jilted Cleveland fan who’s bitter that you left me. I’m just a regular old white NBA fan (a dying breed, I know), who is sick and tired of your posturing and self-aggrandizing.

From day 1, you’ve been anointed by the media as the next coming. You’re supposed to be the future of the NBA, the next Jordan or Magic, the guy that dominates the league, wins title after titles and makes us re-evaluate the greatest player ever debate. You didn’t seem to have a problem with the white media building up your hype machine before you earned anything. But a few years later, when the hype hasn’t materialized into titles and you handle your free agent summer in pathetic fashion, race sure comes into play now, huh?

I suppose I should back off LeBron, because honestly, he doesn’t know any better. He’s been appearing on Sports Illustrated covers since he was a high school junior. Hell, if my face was plastered on a magazine cover with the words “The Chosen One” next to it when I was 17 years old, my reality and perspective would be skewed as well. I’d probably be wearing gold-plated platform shoes and have my own army of oompa-loompas carry me on their backs wherever I went.

And this is our fear with people that get fame at a young age. We’re scared the fame will warp their perspective and they’ll go off the deep end, losing touch with their fan base (you know, us normal people that have to work a regular 9-5 job, take out car loans, and who gather around the television to worship at the alter of celebrity, and for men, the sports stars). We’re scared young celebrities will eventually disconnect with us and when it happens, the backlash ensues. And if LeBron thinks the public and white media turned on him because of race, well, he’s wrong. Go ask white guys outside of Minnesota how they feel about Brett Favre. Go find me a Tom Cruise fan these days. Hell, I hear New England Pats fans are bitching and moaning about Tom Brady’s hair and Audi. Race is a factor, are you kidding me? (so I suppose if Tom Brady gets booed, he can say that hair played a factor.)

The bottom line is this LeBron. You mishandled the summer. Most people don’t care that you left Cleveland. But they do care how you did it. Most people don’t care that you went to Miami, but they care that you had to take out a 1-hour TV Special to announce that you are “taking your talents to South Beach.” And sports fans are a fickle bunch as well. They’ll turn on you in a heartbeat but welcome you back as soon as you lead your team to victory (see Vick, Michael). And you’ve had 3 months to reflect on the backlash and make a pretty simple statement. You could’ve just said, “I wish the city of Cleveland well and Akron will always be my home. I want to be the greatest basketball player on the planet and do to so, I want to play with the best. The Lakers have a hell-of-a-squad with Kobe Bryant surrounded by multiple All-Stars and the Boston Celtics have 4 Hall of Famers. It’s a battle every night in the NBA and I want to go to war with my friends, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. If Cleveland could’ve offered my that opportunity, I would’ve stayed. But things don’t always works out that way and it’s time to move on.”

What would’ve been so hard about that? Oh yeah, having a pulse on the perspective of us normal people. That’s the one thing LeBron doesn’t have. Oh yeah, that and NBA titles. He’s still got a chance at one of those.


Chris

NFL Preview Part 9 (Playoffs)

The final predictions are upon us. Yep, you got it, Graham and I successfully managed to preview every NFL division and the playoffs before a single game was started. Our next goal is to post about something besides football between now and 2011. I give us a 50% chance.

Chris

AFC
Ravens (13-3)
Colts (12-4)
Chargers (11-5)
Patriots (10-6)
Jets (9-7)
Dolphins (9-7)

Chargers beat the Dolphins and Jets beat the Pats in a stunner in Foxboro.

Ravens beat the Jets and Colts beat the Chargers. Ravens beat the Colts to go to the Super Bowl. However, if the Colts/Ravens game happens in Indy, I'd pick the Colts.

NFC
Saints(13-3)
Cowboys (12-4)
Vikings (12-4)
Packers (11-5)
Eagles (10-6)
49ers (9-7)

Minnesota beats the 49ers, easily. Green Bay takes out Philly.

So that would make it Saints/Packers and Cowboys/Vikings. Yikes, that would be some good football right there. I'll go with Saints/Cowboys in the NFC title game, with the Saints winning.

For the Super Bowl, I got the Ravens beating the Saints.

I love these preseason predictions. I'll be lucky if I get 1 of the 4 title game teams right.

Graham

AFC
Indy (13-3)
Baltimore (10-6)
New England (10-6)
San Diego (10-6)
NYJ (9-7)
Miami (9-7)

Indy and Baltimore get the byes, and in the first round New England takes out Miami and the Jets upset San Diego. Not that that's really an upset since San Diego essentially got in by default. That sets up Indy-NYJ and Baltimore-New England.

I don't see the Jets getting by Indy this year, so the Colts go to the AFC Final. Although the NFL will desperately want Indy-New England in the AFC title game, so much so Danny Davis might be the referee, I think Flacco and his unibrow get the best of New England, setting up Colts-Ravens. Give me the Colts in that one.

NFC
New Orleans (12-4) - can't remember what I predicted for their record, so I'm saying 12-4
Green Bay (12-4)
Dallas (12-4)
San Fran (8-8)
Minnesota (11-5)
Philly (10-6)

I'm giving the byes to New Orleans and Green Bay. Dallas beats San Fran easily and I think Philly takes out Minnesota, now that the Vikings' receiving corps looks thinner than my hairline. That sets up New Orleans-Philly and Green Bay-Dallas. That is some solid f'ing football right there.

No way Kevin Kolb outplays Drew Brees, so give the win to the Saints. And since Romo's a regular season wonder, I'm taking the Packers over the Cowboys, which has nothing to do with my allegiance to The Pack.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Graham, do you respect Chris less because he took so long to get on board with Friday Night Lights?" Yes, I do. And I also know that predicting a Super Bowl rematch is idiocy of the highest order.

So Green Bay-Indy it is for the Super Bowl.

My prediction: a heart attack for me. And a Packers win.

NFL Preview Part 8 (NFC West)

Chris
San Francisco showed me a little something last year. Solid defense, plus a few playmakers on offense. Vernon Davis and Alex Smith finally came through, although, still, they haven’t' justified their draft position. But I think you can win with these guys, plus Crabtree and Frank Gore in a crappy division.

Plus, Arizona is going to suck this year. You can't tell me that Matt Leinart and an already gimpy Larry Fitz can carry that offense. And I never trust anyone named Beanie. It's one of my rules to live by.

Seattle will be decent if, and only if, Matt Hasselbeck stays healthy, which he won't.

And who else is in the division, oh yeah, the St. Louis Rams. Why does West Coast NFL football suck? Seriously, the NFC West and AFC West are the two worst divisions in football. I can't believe one of these 4 teams is going to be a division winner. Then again, we live in a world where one of the Jersey Shore cast members is going to bring home $5 million this year and Xavier Henry can't even get a measly rookie contract out of the Grizzlies.

1. 49ers (9-7)
2. Cardinals (7-9)
3. Seahawks (7-9)
4. Rams (3-13)

Graham
I actually like San Fran to win the division if they can get half-decent play out of Alex Smith. Which is a little like saying I like the Grizzlies to make the playoffs if they get half-decent play out of Hasheem Thabeet. That said, they have a good defense anchored by Patrick Willis, and some playmakers on offense with Vernon Davis, Michael Crabtree and Frank Gore.

After that, I hate the rest of the division. Hate it. Arizona is going nowhere fast with the Matt Leinart/Derek Anderson crap combo at QB. Seattle needs Matt Hasselbeck to stay upright, and all of Pete Carroll's positive vibes can't guarantee that will happen. And St. Louis isn't worth talking about.

But it begs an interesting question- this division has the potential to be so bad, that an 8-8 team, or maybe even 7-9 team, could win it and get into the playoffs. What if a 7-9 team gets in with an automatic division berth, but a 10-6 wild card team from the NFC East doesn't get in? Good lord. If that happens, the NFL almost needs to just step in, put the NFC West division title on hiatus for a year and try again next year.

1: San Fran (8-8)
2: Seattle (6-10)
3: Arizona (5-11)
4: St. Louis (2-14)

NFL Preview Part 7 (NFC South)

Chris
Okay, it's hard to like the Saints. Defending champs. Good coach. Great QB. High powered offense. So why wouldn't they win the division? They should beat Tampa Bay twice, and probably be able to go 3-1 against Carolina and Atlanta, right? I don't see much of a slump from them, although I'm not picking them to repeat as champs.

I can't speak honestly about Carolina since they contain my favorite player in the NFL, Deangelo Williams. They've got a good rushing offense and got rid of Jake Delhomme. I have no clue if their new QB is any good, but he's got to be an upgrade from Delhomme, right? Maybe they bounce back and get 2nd in the division. But they feel like an 8-8 team to me.

Atlanta is completely boring to me. Michael Turner is pretty good but not flashy. Same with Matt Ryan, Roddy White and Tony Gonzalez. They're all good players, but none of them are what I would call great. I suppose they could win anywhere from 7-10 games.

Tampa Bay sucks. We discussed this earlier when talking fantasy, but their offense has 1 decent option, and that's Kellen Winslow. Give them 3 wins.

1. New Orleans (12-4)
2. Atlanta Falcons (9-7)
3. Carolina Panthers (8-8)
4. Tampa Bay Bucs (3-13)

Graham
So you say it's hard to like the Saints, then predict big things for them. Speaking out of both sides of your mouth- what are you, a Republican? Anyway, why can't they repeat as champs? You think last year was a fluke? They have just as good a shot as any team, especially in this division. As long as they have Drew Brees, they have a shot.

I like Atlanta a lot more than you. I think Matt Ryan is in store for a bounce back year and I really like Michael Turner. Possible wild card team.

I don't know what to make of Carolina. Everyone seems high on their QBs with Matt Moore and Jimmy Clausen. But they seem to be the equivalent to NBC's promos for The Event: positive buzz, big expectations, but in the end will get canceled. I'd be concerned. But they have great RBs who can win games by themselves. Ultimately, they're not a threat.

The less said about Tampa Bay the better.

1: New Orleans (13-3)
2: Atlanta (9-7)
3: Carolina (6-10)
4: Tampa Bay (2-14)

Chris
I didn't proof my email. I meant to say, "It's hard not to like the Saints." So there. Instead of talking out of both sides of my mouth, instead, I'm just a plain old idiot that didn't re-read an email I sent to a friend.

Speaking of speaking out of both sides of your mouth, you said you like Atlanta a lot more than me, yet you predicted them to finish 9-7, which is the exact same record I had them at. Congrats.

I'm not sure that Carolina's QBs are any good, I just doubt they'll be Jake Delhomme level bad. I mean, that guy pooped the bed more than your infant does.

Graham
No one poops the bed more than my kid. No one.

Chris
The first Jake Delhomme compliment in 2 years. Even his wife is embarrassed.

NFL Preview Part 6 (NFC North)

Chris
I barely even want to discuss this division since it means I have to type the words Brett Favre. Anyway, let's just assume he's coming back, which I'll assume each offseason until he dies. Since he is coming back, that means two things. First, the Vikings are the frontrunner to win the division. Second, Sidney Rice is a viable fantasy WR*. Only one of these two items concerns me, to be quite honest. (*editor’s note: not anymore)

Anyway, I like the Packers. They were a playoff team last year and if I remember correctly, played much better the second half of the season. The Pack should be a playoff team again. I like Rodgers (natch) and Ryan Grant is serviceable. He just plows for 4 yards straight down the middle. Not a gamebreaking back, but a downhill runner, which is nice these days. The Pack offense is awesome so as long as they can protect Rodgers and have a decent D, they should be fine. And if they can beat the Vikings once, they might win the division.

I think the Bears will bounce back some. Cutler should improve with Mike Martz as coordinator, Brian Urlacher is back and they added Julius Peppers. I still hate their WRs except for Johnny Knox. Regardless, this team shouldn't be that bad. Maybe 8-8 or something?

The Lions, ugh. They got some young talent but still will suck. They just might not suck as bad. So they got that going for them.

Your thoughts?

Graham
Obviously, I'm biased, but I think Green Bay can and should win the division. After they got their o-line sorted out last year, they finished 7-1. Their offense is a juggernaut, and Jermichael Finley is due for a big breakout this year. They can score with anyone. Defensively they might run into trouble. Granted, it was the first preseason game, but Cleveland's #1 offense steamrolled Green Bay's #1 defense. They need a more effective pass rush, and Al Harris is a big question mark with his injuries. They need a much better start than last year's 4-4. Check out their first 6 games:

@ Philly
vs. Buffalo
@ Chicago
vs. Detroit
@ Washington
vs. Miami

Those are all winnable games, then the schedule gets brutal with Minnesota twice, Dallas, New England, NYJ, NYG and Atlanta. If they come out of those first six games 3-3, or God forbid even worse, then things could go downhill fast. But if they come through with four or five wins, then giddyup.

As for Minnesota, we all know Favre's back. But can anyone expect the stupid line he put up last year? 68.4% completion rate, 33/7 TD/Int ratio and 107.2 rating. Even Neil Patrick Harris hasn't enjoyed a career renaissance that good. But there's no way he can do that twice, is there? Either way, it will go right down to the wire with the Packers. And consider this: 4 of their last 5 games are in domes, so weather won't be a factor. Shoot me.

Chicago will do what Chicago always does- a mediocre, forgettable season.

I like what Detroit's doing. Stafford, Suh and Calvin Johnson are good building blocks. I could very well see them overtaking the Bears in the next year.

Chris
Green Bay can win the division. Should? That's a bigger stretch than you thinking Hasheem Thabeet won't bite on pump fakes. Green Bay can't go 0-2 against Minnesota. That's the bottom line. And yes, Favre was insane last year with his performance, but really, I don't see why Minnesota will drop. They still have Adrian Peterson, Sidney Rice and the best defensive line in football. I hate it, but Minnesota SHOULD win the division. Anything can happen though.

As for the first 6 games, I think 4-2 is a pretty reasonable start. I think they'll lose at Philly and hopefully vs. Miami. But they should beat Buffalo and Detroit for sure. There is no reason they don’t win at least 2 of the 4 games against Philly, Chicago, Washington and Miami.

Anyway, here's my prediction

1. Minnesota (12-4)
2. Green Bay (11-5)
3. Chicago (8-8)
4. Detroit (5-11)

Graham
Here's the thing: Green Bay can improve. They can get better play from the o-line and better play from the defense. Minnesota can't improve. Best case scenario is they stay at the same level as last year. Big difference. If Green Bay even splits the season series with Minnesota, they should take the division. Prediction:

1. Green Bay (12-4)
2. Minnesota (11-5)
3. Chicago (7-9)
4. Detroit (4-12)

Chris
Well, using that theory, Detroit has lots of room to improve, so pick them to win the division.

Okay, here's a decent question. Every year there is one team that comes out of the crappy teams to surprise everyone. Last year it was the Bengals. Two years ago it was the Dolphins and Falcons. We're what, 75% done with our preview and I think for the most part we've picked about the same order of finish in each division as the previous year. Picking between the Packers and Vikings or Jets and Pats is really splitting hairs.

Who is the sleeper crappy team that rises up this year? And by crappy, they had to win less than 7 games last year. The choices are: Bills, Browns, Raiders, Chiefs, Redskins, Lions, Bucs, Seahawks or Rams.

And when I say "rises", I mean at least 9 wins. Dear God, I have to pick one of those teams to win 9 games? It's not the Browns, Bills, Lions or Rams.

Seattle had some injuries last year but I still don't trust Pete Carroll and Matt Hasselback. The Raiders, uh, in a word, no. I think it has to be the Chiefs or Redskins. I guess Redskins, huh? Shanahan and McNabb could possibly squeeze out 9 wins, right?

Graham
The Skins are the obvious choice, but in that division it's tough. The Seahawks are in a crappy division, but Hasselbeck's always hurt and the backups are JP Losman (!) and Charlie Whitehurst (!!!). The Bills, Browns and Rams are hopeless. The Lions are 2-3 years away. So how about this: why not the Raiders? Their QB has gone from F- to C-, which should be good for at least a couple of wins in itself. Their defense is halfway decent, and I'm not ready to give up on Darren McFadden at RB.

Then there's the schedule: I don't expect them to do much against San Diego, but couldn't they steal 3 wins in 4 games against Denver and KC? They also play the NFC West this year, which gives them four winnable games.

I'm not saying they'll make the playoffs, but I could very well see them winning 7 or 8 and challenging Denver for second in the division.

Chris
I was thinking possibly the Chiefs, for the same reason about playing in a weak division. I think Cassel is alright, plus what if Dwyane Bowe bounces back and their RBs are okay. I have no clue about their defense though. I can't rightly pick them to win 9 games. I see what you are saying about the Raiders. They are boring but they seemed to hang in a lot of games last year. Just getting rid of Jamarcus Russell should be good enough for what 2-3 wins? That would take them from 4 wins to 6 or 7. Maybe...

Graham
Just please don't remind of this prediction when the Raiders finish 2-14.

Chris
It's never pretty having to pick the sleeper. I mean, there's what, a 1 in 9 chance you are right? And really, we're too lazy to really predict the sleeper after looking at those 9 teams schedules. Plus injuries affect NFL more than any other league.

Graham
Hey, I checked the Raiders' schedule! I promised half-assed research and I did it!

Chris
You're leaving me behind. If you ever dumped me as a blogmate, well, that would be the low-point of my life to date. (not trying to tempt you).

NFL Preview Part 5 (NFC East)

I’m not sure what’s gotten into us, but Graham and I promised a full NFL preview, and, well, you’re getting one. What next, we uphold our wedding vows? Without further ado, we kick off our NFC preview with the NFC East.

Chris
Possibly the toughest division in the league. Dallas has talent, although they don't always capitalize. Romo isn't a top 5 QB, but you can make the case he's top 10, right? I like that offense when Romo isn't playing like the gunslinger. I really hate Cowboys fans though, so it'd be nice if they miss the playoffs again.

I think the Eagles are the best in this division. I trust the Kevin Kolb move. It seems a lot like Aaron Rodgers replacing Favre to me. I think Philly wins the division. At the very least, Andy Reid eats a lot.

The Redskins are a weird team. They've got some talent but probably not enough. The upgrade from Jason Campbell to Donovan McNabb is significant to me, as long as McNabb stays healthy. But other than Albert Haynesworth, I can't name one defender on their team. That's probably not good. Then again, I think NFC East games are terribly boring except for Eagles-Cowboys.

The Giants, meh. They scream 8-8 to me.

Graham
Dallas is the best team in this division, and should win easily. Which sucks because I hate them. But really- let's say Dez Bryant has even a decent rookie season- their passing game is him, Miles Austin, Jason Witten and Roy Williams. That's pretty damn good. Romo may not be a top-5 QB, and certainly not in the playoffs, but he's good enough that that group could be really, really good.

After that it's a jumble, and any of the other 3 teams can finish anywhere in the division. You like Kolb, but really, what do we have to go on with him? He's been good in spot duty, but what about as a starter? What happens if he gets off to a slow start (a Week 1 turd against the Packers would be nice) and the entire city and Philly media corps is bearing down on him? We have no idea how he'll react. And Brian Westbrook is gone, which could be a huge loss even though he was hurt most of last year. Philly is a big question mark.

Giants- whatever.

I don't like Washington. They'll be a bit better with Shanahan and McNabb, but they're not a threat to win the division. Maybe, maybe they sneak into a wild card spot if Philly and the Giants falter. But that's a big if.

Chris
So let me make sure I got the official preview for the Giants down.

Me - meh.
You - whatever.

You are welcome Giants fans.

Philly was 11-5 last year with LeSean McCoy playing more than Westbrook and with D-McNabb throwing 22 TDs and 10 INTs. Sure, there is a chance that Kolb sucks, but there's just as much pedigree with him to succeed this year as Aaron Rodgers had going into his first season. He's not a sure thing, but I like my chances with him. He comes into a good offense with playmakers (DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, LeSean McCoy, hell, even Brent Celek). So I just don't think he craps the team. If he can keep the turnovers down, they should be fine. I'm not saying they'll go 13-3, but I think 11-5 is within reach, especially if they can go 4-2 in the division (split with Dallas, sweep either Wash or NY).

Did Dallas win the division last year? I thought they missed the playoffs. So Dallas spanked Philly in the playoffs and then got spanked by Minnesota? I mixed up last year and 2 seasons ago, when Philly spanked Dallas to get in the playoffs. Anyway, this is all very confusing for anyone reading this. I suppose my point is this, yes, Dallas should win the division, but Philly could still make the wild card. I think they're better than New York and Washington.

And please don't consider Roy Williams a good player. He's terrible.

Okay, here's my guess

1. Dallas (12-4)
2. Philadelphia (10-6)
3. Washington (7-9)
4. NY Giants (7-9)

Did I say this was the best division in football? I take that back.

Graham
I forgot about LeSean McCoy. Crap, I really need to start doing research before I write stuff. I'll give you that one. As for Roy Williams- I noted him as the fourth option. As far as fourth options go, he's not bad. And frankly, I don't blame Dez Bryant one bit for not carrying his pads. Bryant might double his receiving yards this year.

1: Dallas (12-4)
2: Philly (10-6)
3: NY Giants (8-8)
4: Washington (6-10)

Chris
Yeah, you need to do research before we post these things on RTS. We have a fanbase with expectations (hi Gary!) to adhere to.

Graham
I know, I've taken Gary for granted. My apologies, I promise to do half-hearted research from here on out.

RTS Debates: Hasheem Thabeet vs. Chris

So I have a friend that’s doing some graduate studies over in Africa. Who does he happen to run into over there? Hasheem Thabeet. My friend sent me a picture of him and Thabeet. I forwarded it to Graham and he responded that it looked like my friend could take him in a game of one of one. What ensued was one of the most heated email debates in RTS history.

Chris
From the sad but true department: I truly think I could beat Thabeet in a game of 1 on 1. And really, I'm not sure if it's sad because I'm delusional or sad because it's true. Either way is pretty damn depressing.

Graham
You could not beat Thabeet one-on-one. When he has the ball, he'd just back you down and drop in an easy one from two feet. When you have the ball, he'd just stand back and dare you to shoot. You'd never beat him.

Chris
Concepts I have working for me.

1. I'm not that bad a shooter so if I got the ball first, I could, in theory, go on a run. I assume the game is make-it, take-it. I could give myself a lead if I'm shooting well.

2. I completely understand that he could post me up and score all day. However, in one-on-one, he'd have to start at the 3-point line. Can he really dribble all the way down to the post? Maybe a few times, but every time. I doubt it.

3. He would not take the game serious unless I got close to winning, so he's probably just jack up 3s until I got to 6 or 7 points. So really, I'd just have to make sure to not give him the ball back when he started trying.

4. Thabeet really, really sucks. I mean, if I had to pick 1 player in the NBA to try to beat for a million dollars, he'd be on my list. I'm not joking about that.

Graham
He doesn't have to dribble from the three-point line to the post. He just has to turn around, stick his ass in your face and back you down. We're not talking about AI crossovers here. You would not be able to defend that. No chance. And as much as Thabeet sucks in the NBA, remember, he was good enough in college to be a consensus top-10 pick (if not #2). That means he was at least relatively effective against guys who are 6-8, 250 lbs.

If we're really talking about beating an NBA player, it won't be someone who's 7-3, 300 lbs. It can't be any player who can just turn around and back you down easily. It would have to be a smallish wing player who can't shoot worth shit. Maybe then you'd have a chance. Maybe.

By the way, it reminds me of this story. Before the NBA Draft settled into MSG every year, they used to take it to different cities. In 1998 they were in Vancouver, and I volunteered with the Grizz (how I got my foot in the door- no one ran quotes at the draft like me). There was a fan fest thing where Antawn Jamison, Vince Carter, Mike Bibby and 1 or 2 other guys played one-on-one against kids, and I swear to God this happened:

The kids were about 10 years old, and the hoops were only about 5 feet high so they could at least shoot and have a reasonable chance of going in. The players were all screwing around, and the kids were just happy to be on the same court. Except there was kid in Vince Carter's line who was better than all the rest and was taking it seriously. The first time he took on Vince, he took a shot and Vince swatted the ball to the other end of the court. The kid was pissed. He went back in line and waited his turn, didn't talk to anyone, didn't smile. He wanted revenge.

So he comes up again and Vince comes out to about halfway between the free throw line and three-point line to defend him, not really taking it seriously. The kid takes a few dribbles to his left, gets Vince to lean, and blows by him on the right. Now Vince is fucked, and he knows it. He tries to chase the kid down from behind but was a step behind, and the kid dunked it on the 5-foot hoop. The entire place exploded and Vince couldn't believe it. Antawn Jamison came over laughing his ass off and just tore Vince apart. And the kid didn't say a word, didn't smile. Just put his head down and got back in line.

One of the single most badass things I've ever seen.

Chris
The kid dunking on Vince Carter is awesome. You should track him down for an exclusive RTS interview...where are they now version.

And I'm not going to let the Thabeet thing die this easily, cause mainly, I'm an idiot.

First, the “good college player” theory I'm not buying. I realize he's a better player than me in the context of college basketball, team basketball, etc. One on one is different, so the fact that he scored a whopping 13 points a game in college isn't really amazing me.

Second, Thabeet could back me down from the 3-point line, but if he's going to play like that, I'm going to push and shove and what not. He can call the foul if he wants. Hell, he's listed at 267 lbs on NBA.com. I'm at about 235. I'm not giving up as much as you think, especially if he's having to dribble while I can just get better leverage.

Lastly, I'm thinking I could beat Thabeet maybe 1 or 2 times out of 10. Not good odds. But better odds than just about any other NBA player. You said I should go against a wing player that can't shoot. I'm going to give you a heads up. Uh, every wing player in the NBA is quicker, stronger and faster than me. I wouldn't stand a chance. It would be a dunk contest. They'd get to the rim easier than Thabeet's backing down technique. I'd rather play Thabeet than DeMarre Carroll. I suppose that's all I'm saying. But I do realize that Thabeet, overall, is a better player than DeMarre. I just like my one-on-one matchup better.

Graham
For crying out loud.

OK, let's say you camp out at the three-point line and try to hit bombs all day. If he sits back and you miss, he's getting the rebound. You'd have to shoot 75% from three-point range. No chance. And let's say he decides to play up on you and challenge you - there's no way you have the speed to blow by him and get to the rim untouched. At the very least he could recover and challenge the shot. How many contested layups are you making against a 7-3 shotblocker? He's not some lumbering 350-pound oaf. He's lean and has some modicum of athleticism, enough at least to chase down a 235-pound rec league player.

You say you could beat him 1 or 2 times out of 10. You'd be lucky to beat him 1 or 2 times out of 100.

Chris
The fact that you think I can't blow by Thabeet if he plays up on me really just shows you how underrated I am. I mean, have you seen this picture? Thabeet's got nothing on this!

And really, saying that Thabeet has a modicum of athleticism is really stretching it. I mean, he has a hard time even catching a damn ball.

Something else you haven't taken into account. I can score on Thabeet in the post. I've got Kevin McHale level post moves. Just subtract about 8 inches and add some serious love handles. Other than that, we're twins.

Lastly, 1 or 2 times out of 100? Are you kidding? I'm not playing 100 1 on 1 games. I'd die after about 15.

Graham
I think now you're just trying to annoy me. Mission accomplished. Listen mini-McHale - your post moves would be useless. He wouldn't bite on one of them because you can't shoot over him. All he has to do is stand there and swat them away.

Chris
I completely agree with everything you said about what should happen when I play Thabeet.

I just think you give Thabeet too much credit. I guess the fact that I've seen him play 75 times or so makes me realize that he won't back me down (even though he should), he will bite on my post moves (even though he shouldn't) and he won't give a crap and I will (which sounds about right).

Graham
Me 1, You 0

Chris
So you win an argument because you could coach Thabeet to victory over me? This isn't a video game where you get to control him. Just because Thabeet has the raw ability to dominate me 1 million times over, doesn't mean he would. He's an idiot. A goofy, uncoordinated idiot. I stand by my theory that I could beat him 1 out of 10 times. I stand by your theory that I shouldn't beat him 1 time out of 100.

NFL Preview Part 4 (AFC West)

Chris
This is the crappiest division in the NFL. San Diego should win 10 games just cause Philip Rivers is better than the rest of the AFC West QBs combined. (Jason Campbell, Matt Cassel and Kyle Orton). I'm not sure you could win the Super Bowl with an AFC West All-Star team. It would be what, Philip Rivers, Dwyane Bowe, Vincent Jackson and Jamal Charles as your best skill players?

And I hate the fact that Dwyane Wade has a different spelling of Dwayne than most, cause then I switch that crap out inadvertently. I blame LeBron.

Okay, so I got San Diego winning the division. The next 3 teams are a crapshoot. I like Josh McDaniels but don't think that offense can score enough. I think Oakland will improve, simply because they got JaMarcus Russell off the team, and I think Kansas City is a 6 win team. So, uh, here's my best guess.

1. San Diego (11-5)
2. Denver (7-9)
3. Kansas City (6-10)
4. Oakland (6-10)

Graham
I can't think of one thing about the AFC West that interests me. It's like the Grey's Anatomy of football as far as I'm concerned. It speaks to how bad this division is that the Chargers are down two big players to contract disputes, and it won't affect their chance at the division title one bit. The biggest issue with them is keeping themselves interested all season, kind of like me when I'm playing Wii Mario Kart. I'm so awesome I have to invent challenges to keep my interest (until the game give my opponents 18 blue shells in a row).

Denver...Tim Tebow...don't care.

I kind of feel bad for Kansas City. I don't know why, but they've always seemed like the most non-descript team in the league. Never that good, but never bad enough to get a star player in the draft. Now they pin their hopes on Matt Cassel. Between them and the Royals, that city is underrated when it comes to tortured fans. And I won't even start on the brand new arena they build specifically to lure and NBA or NHL team that 3 years later is still vacant.

And the Raiders are the Raiders. Whatever.

1: San Diego (10-6)
2: Kansas City (5-11)
3: Denver (5-11)
4: Oakland (4-12)

Chris
I love the fact that the majority of our previews revolves around, "man, that team is boring and I have nothing to say about them." I think our AFC West and AFC South previews were pretty much identical. We praise the Colts and Chargers and are completely bored by every other team. Good job us!

NFL Preview Part 3 (AFC South)

Chris
Indy wins 12 games, easy. I'm not sure if they win more, but 12 is the minimum they'll win. That's just how it goes. The only question is whether they sit their players and lose a few games at the end, or actually have to play all season. Pretty boring, and I'll be watching every freaking game thanks to my Manning/Wayne fantasy combo.

I predicted the Titans would take a step back last year while you said they'd still be good. Suck it, Graham. I like Jeff Fisher and Chris Johnson (who doesn't), but I still don't think you can win with Vince Young as your QB and that WR corps, unless Kenny Britt breaks out. I don't hate the team but don't love it. I see anywhere from 7-10 wins.

Do I really have to write something about Jacksonville? I hate that team. Without looking, I'm guessing they've won between 6-9 games the last 4 seasons. They'll do the same.

Houston has one of those teams that should be better than they are. Didn't they win about 8 games last year? This division is so boring. There is the Colts and everyone else. How's that for a preview?

Graham
Indy runs away with the division, and in other news the sun rises in the East and Two and a Half men sucks. Whatever. I refuse to jump on board the Houston bandwagon, especially after Steve Slaton committed homicide against my fantasy team last year. I hate that guy. Tennessee will be perfectly average and Jacksonville sucks. I don't even know what else to say about this division.

1: Indy (13-3)
2: Houston (8-8)
3: Tennessee (6-10)
4: Jacksonville (5-11)

Chris
Since my understanding of the NFL is directly related to fantasy football, can we discuss Houston for a minute? Who is going to be the RB this year? Slaton was a stud 2 years ago and sucked last year. They drafted Ben Tate from Auburn and also have Arian Foster or something. I know to stay away from RB by committee teams, but if I'm stuck in the 11th round and need to take a flyer on a guy, which one is it? I mean, the offense is potent so if one guy can manage 15 carries a week, he should do decent. Which guy is it? I'm leaning towards Tate, I guess.

And since I have to do records, here's mine.

1: Indy (12-4)
2: Houston (8-8)
3: Tennessee (8-8)
4: Jacksonville (7-9)

Graham
Who will Houston's RB be this year? I'll tell you who: Steve Slaton. Here's why: In the 10th round of my draft later this month, I'm going to need a running back, and he's going to be on the board. I will pass over him while cursing his name, and watch as he proceeds to rack up 1300 yards and 12 TDs. So take Steve Slaton. And listen for my sobs from 2000 miles away.

Chris
Good to know. And when I draft Ronnie Brown or Ricky Williams, the player I pick will get hurt and the other one will be a stud. Fantasy football, good times!

Graham
I'm sure you read Bill Simmons' big manifesto on fantasy last week. Gotta say, I was really intrigued by the menage a trois idea. There's potential there.

Chris
Some of that was downright retarded though. I'm a huge fantasy nerd always looking to shake things up, but even I couldn't follow all the crap he was talking about. Although yes, a 3-team game would be somewhat interesting.

I did like the idea of being able to draft college players, although that would take a lot more research. I think at the end of every fantasy draft every person should be able to draft 1 college player and then cross their fingers. 9 out of 10 times it wouldn't pan out.

Graham
Yeah, when he started on backgammon or whatever the hell that was, I lost him. And no way on more than 1 college player. I'd rather try to perform a vasectomy on myself than follow college football.

Chris
Ahh, your hatred of college football. I don't "follow" it so much as I watch the Memphis Tigers cause I hate winning and I watch the SEC game of the week cause I don't have kids and just love football in general. I also like drinking and yelling at the TV.

Graham
If you love football so much, here is a schedule of CFL games on the NFL Network. Enjoy: http://cfl.ca/page/u-s-broadcast-webcast

Chris
CFL is to Football as veggie burger is to burger, or as non-alcoholic beer is to beer.

Graham
Or the missionary position is to sex.

Chris
The line should've been "or sex with you is to sex"

Graham
Oh yeah? Well I slept with your wife!

Chris
My wife is in a coma.